I think with many stories there is sometimes the question on where to start. Much of the younger childhood are extremely vague flashes of memories. As memories become hazy and distant, it felt like the best option was to begin with the high level overview and we can delve in more from there.
I grew up poor to put it succinctly. The trailer I grew up in had it’s fair share of issues. This is not to criticize anything, it’s just to give the picture. There were issues with the floor’s in some places. Plumbing that froze in the winter. It wasn’t horrible, but one could seethe level of poverty.
As was previously mentioned in an earlier post, my life has a lot of new perspective recently. As a recent diagnosis has “confirmed”, I’m different. I’m different than the family and cousins I grew up with. I different from those I attended school with. I’m very likely different than those I pass on the street. It’s something I’ve always known, but never really looked to understand the what or the why. I was just me. There was nothing else to know. The older I have grown, the less that was sufficient.
I was brought up into a relatively large family. I had plenty of cousins to socialize with and a lot of the freedom kids had in the 80s and 90s in a rural setting. From a certain perspective, one could consider that my relationship with my family growing up was normal and that I even had relatively decent bonds with many of them in that area.
As opposed to school. School generally always made me feel like an outcast. I didn’t belong. I was the nerd. I was the bullied. I was the weak. I was the prey. From Kindergarten to graduation, most of it was spent with the same group of people the entire time. This wasn’t some suburban or city school with a graduating class of a hundred plus. No. Thirty. Thirty of mostly the same people that started out the journey together.
I had friends in my neighborhood. One of the few of the fonder things I can reflect on. Napoleon Missouri had a park that for the longest time had a merry go round and a basketball court and a large enough open area for other activities. Aside from that there was little else. Sharing a love of video games that encompassed the SNES, Genesis and up to the N64 and Playstation.
At one point my future path was set and me and those that were friends in that small town had started our own story. The Legend of the Sacred Sword which at this point has long been scrapped and has grown into Seeds of Aether, but that’s a story for another day. I also don’t know whatever happened to Jake’s own work, Death Omega Saga
While it does go back further for me with the Atari 2600 and the likes of Pac-Man and Pitfall. The NES and after the SNES, as sad as one might find it were one of my best friends growing up next to Chris and even one of the common threads of our friendship. Interestingly enough it still seems to be that thread that we still communicate on. Any game I play today must measure up to the Super Nintendo and they are exponentially more powerful and realistic than any game then could have been.
A small town. Video Games. A trailer. A large family and few friends. Aside from the fact that we had a cat, this was my life in a town of 208 people. This is the abstract view. Reflection now days can turn this on it’s head. It sees it with eyes filled with regret and resentment. A long term side affect of a life spent not dealing with it. This was the beginning.